I Was Wrong About The Elections, But Here Are Five Picks for New Gun Owners
Well I couldn't have been more wrong about the election results. I predicted an unprecedented blue wave and what we got was an unprecedented red one. Of course, I am tickled to death that we are going to see fascism in the United States as I have been a proponent of American fascism on my Twitter and Facebook for some time. I could write a whole article on American fascism but I view it basically as a return to the Constitution as it existed at the time of the founding but with a few important tweeks: (a) a guarantee of a few additional human rights so that the worst impulses of fascism can be checked; (b) citizenship by blood rather than by land; and (c) a guarantee of one-party rule by the right. Of course, despite what people on the Internet think, we will not get this under President Trump. We will get four years of conservative leadership, there will be another election, and Trump will be flown back to Mar-a-lago for his retirement. Then a new president will be sworn in after another 18 months of hearing about how this is "the most important election of our lifetime", that "democracy is on the ballot", and how the Republican choice is "literally Hitler".
For better or worse, we now have lots of people who don't agree with me looking to buy guns because they think that we are going to do to them exactly what they promised to do to us: round them up and put them in camps. It may surprise them to know that American fascists like me have no desire to do any such thing. But I am absolutely pleased that we are getting more people interested in firearms to defend themselves against the government. Whether your're a fascist, a communist, or somewhere in between, that IS in fact what the 2nd Amendment is all about. Unfortunately, this is not without its problems and, today, I saw this post on X:
First of all, no. Taurus makes some very decent products. I love the TX22 and its revolvers are a good budget alternative to Smith and Wesson. However, their semi-automatic pistols are simply not up to par. I have extended olive branches to the left before on this issue. I recall after the Pulse Nightclub shooting that I taught a license to carry class in Texas specifically for the LGBTQ+ community. You see folks, I don't hate gay people and most people like me don't either. We don't agree with it and we don't want to see it out in public or around kids, but this still America and what you do in your bedroom is none of our damn business. We don't begrudge you your own spaces like Oak Lawn in Dallas. It also drives us crazy when someone is killed or assaulted simply because they are gay. Why? Well, we're probably not as shitty of human beings as you think. We don't want you to be physically harmed. We do not want people who would do you harm to be seen as representative of our movement. It's a great savings of taxpayer money if those who would engage in acts of violence against you are shot in self defense. No need to spend money trying and incarcerating them. But a Taurus is not the best tool for the job. So, here are some budget options that y'all can use to protect yourself from us scary fascists during the second Trump term. A word of caution however: attempting to shoot these weapons limp wristed WILL induce a malfunction (I couldn't resist that joke).
1. Palmetto State Armory Dagger. This is my top budget option for a new gun owner. You're getting a gun that comes really close to the Glock but without the Glock price-tag. This gun can be found new in box for $300.00 or less and is compatible with the cheap and readily available Glock magazines. It will fit most, but not all, Glock holsters so do your research there. The trigger is based on Glocks Gen3 trigger so there are plenty of options for smoothing it out down the road. These weapons have a 15 - 17 round capacity depending upon which model you buy. The link provided is to Palmetto State Armory itself and, while you can order online, it will need to be shipped to a licensed dealer for the paperwork and background check. My advice: go with the compact 15 round model which is based on the legendary Glock 19.
2.Canik TP9SF. This is a bit more than the PSA, which is why it is #2 on the list, but you get a well tested and reliable pistol with this option. It feaatures an 18 round magazine with 20 rounders available as an option (those who do not live in free states are limited to ten rounds, which is why I have option four below). Although extra magazines and parts will be more expensive, these have some of the best triggers you could ask for out of the box. They are becoming a very popular design and, if your local sporting good store doesn't stock these pistols (usually for below MSRP), the Canik website will help you find a dealer. I guess some of you are about to learn that it actually is as easy to buy a gun as it is to buy bubble gum.
3. CZ USA P-10C. This is a bit lower on my list becasue it can be harder to find. CZ is a Czech company - which now owns Colt - and has built a reputation over several years of building high quality pistols at affordable prices. This one is no exception. It is a bit more than the Dagger and usually available around the same price point as a Canik. CZ has a bit better aftermarket support than Canik but not as good as the PSA (since it's a Glock clone). When in doubt, do what a good fascist does and buy both.
4. Glock 29 Gen3. Another more expensive option and not one for the faint of heart. I recommend this one specifically for people who live in slave states (e.g California) where magazine capacity is (for now) limited to 10 rounds. This weapon is chambered in 10mm Auto rather than 9mm Luger. The different is this: a 9mm sends a 0.356 caliber projectile weighing between 115 and 124gr typically at 1,150 - 1,400fps for betwee 355 - 501 ft pounds of energy delivered on target. A 10mm will sent a 0.40 caliber projectile weighing between 155 and 180gr at betweem 1,300 - 1,500fps for total energy of 650 - 775 ft pounds. For comparison sake, a 44 magnum delivers 741 - 1,100 ft pounds of energy typically, so this is one of the most powerful semi-automatics you cam buy. The drawback: it has sharp recoil and the ammunition is more expensive than 9mm. While a 45 might be tempting because it "make bigger holes", don't be fooled: it delivers about the same energy as a 9mm (356 - 592 ft pounds). If you can find a used Glock 20, that may be a better option for a beginner.
5. Radical Firearms AR-15 RPR. Come on. Give in to temptation and let the power of the dark side flow through you. This is it - in the flesh - the dreaded AR-15. The best thing about it? You can get one for under $500.00! Now, you will need to get an optic with that which will run another $300 - $700, but come on! Don't you deserve it? This is the gun they told you would put holes in people so big that they would need DNA to get a positive ID! Isn't protecting yourself from Trumps camps worth splurging just a little bit? I know you want one. You know you want one. And if Trump's jackboots are literally coming for you, this is the gun that will have them cowering in fear with their punisher cell phone cases. Just buy it.
For better or worse, we now have lots of people who don't agree with me looking to buy guns because they think that we are going to do to them exactly what they promised to do to us: round them up and put them in camps. It may surprise them to know that American fascists like me have no desire to do any such thing. But I am absolutely pleased that we are getting more people interested in firearms to defend themselves against the government. Whether your're a fascist, a communist, or somewhere in between, that IS in fact what the 2nd Amendment is all about. Unfortunately, this is not without its problems and, today, I saw this post on X:
First of all, no. Taurus makes some very decent products. I love the TX22 and its revolvers are a good budget alternative to Smith and Wesson. However, their semi-automatic pistols are simply not up to par. I have extended olive branches to the left before on this issue. I recall after the Pulse Nightclub shooting that I taught a license to carry class in Texas specifically for the LGBTQ+ community. You see folks, I don't hate gay people and most people like me don't either. We don't agree with it and we don't want to see it out in public or around kids, but this still America and what you do in your bedroom is none of our damn business. We don't begrudge you your own spaces like Oak Lawn in Dallas. It also drives us crazy when someone is killed or assaulted simply because they are gay. Why? Well, we're probably not as shitty of human beings as you think. We don't want you to be physically harmed. We do not want people who would do you harm to be seen as representative of our movement. It's a great savings of taxpayer money if those who would engage in acts of violence against you are shot in self defense. No need to spend money trying and incarcerating them. But a Taurus is not the best tool for the job. So, here are some budget options that y'all can use to protect yourself from us scary fascists during the second Trump term. A word of caution however: attempting to shoot these weapons limp wristed WILL induce a malfunction (I couldn't resist that joke).
1. Palmetto State Armory Dagger. This is my top budget option for a new gun owner. You're getting a gun that comes really close to the Glock but without the Glock price-tag. This gun can be found new in box for $300.00 or less and is compatible with the cheap and readily available Glock magazines. It will fit most, but not all, Glock holsters so do your research there. The trigger is based on Glocks Gen3 trigger so there are plenty of options for smoothing it out down the road. These weapons have a 15 - 17 round capacity depending upon which model you buy. The link provided is to Palmetto State Armory itself and, while you can order online, it will need to be shipped to a licensed dealer for the paperwork and background check. My advice: go with the compact 15 round model which is based on the legendary Glock 19.
2.Canik TP9SF. This is a bit more than the PSA, which is why it is #2 on the list, but you get a well tested and reliable pistol with this option. It feaatures an 18 round magazine with 20 rounders available as an option (those who do not live in free states are limited to ten rounds, which is why I have option four below). Although extra magazines and parts will be more expensive, these have some of the best triggers you could ask for out of the box. They are becoming a very popular design and, if your local sporting good store doesn't stock these pistols (usually for below MSRP), the Canik website will help you find a dealer. I guess some of you are about to learn that it actually is as easy to buy a gun as it is to buy bubble gum.
3. CZ USA P-10C. This is a bit lower on my list becasue it can be harder to find. CZ is a Czech company - which now owns Colt - and has built a reputation over several years of building high quality pistols at affordable prices. This one is no exception. It is a bit more than the Dagger and usually available around the same price point as a Canik. CZ has a bit better aftermarket support than Canik but not as good as the PSA (since it's a Glock clone). When in doubt, do what a good fascist does and buy both.
4. Glock 29 Gen3. Another more expensive option and not one for the faint of heart. I recommend this one specifically for people who live in slave states (e.g California) where magazine capacity is (for now) limited to 10 rounds. This weapon is chambered in 10mm Auto rather than 9mm Luger. The different is this: a 9mm sends a 0.356 caliber projectile weighing between 115 and 124gr typically at 1,150 - 1,400fps for betwee 355 - 501 ft pounds of energy delivered on target. A 10mm will sent a 0.40 caliber projectile weighing between 155 and 180gr at betweem 1,300 - 1,500fps for total energy of 650 - 775 ft pounds. For comparison sake, a 44 magnum delivers 741 - 1,100 ft pounds of energy typically, so this is one of the most powerful semi-automatics you cam buy. The drawback: it has sharp recoil and the ammunition is more expensive than 9mm. While a 45 might be tempting because it "make bigger holes", don't be fooled: it delivers about the same energy as a 9mm (356 - 592 ft pounds). If you can find a used Glock 20, that may be a better option for a beginner.
5. Radical Firearms AR-15 RPR. Come on. Give in to temptation and let the power of the dark side flow through you. This is it - in the flesh - the dreaded AR-15. The best thing about it? You can get one for under $500.00! Now, you will need to get an optic with that which will run another $300 - $700, but come on! Don't you deserve it? This is the gun they told you would put holes in people so big that they would need DNA to get a positive ID! Isn't protecting yourself from Trumps camps worth splurging just a little bit? I know you want one. You know you want one. And if Trump's jackboots are literally coming for you, this is the gun that will have them cowering in fear with their punisher cell phone cases. Just buy it.
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